


You Deserve To Make It Home

by ShyAudacity



Series: reminiscent of a perfect mess [2]
Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst with a Happy Ending, Child Neglect, Crying, Established Betty Cooper/Veronica Lodge, F/F, Heavy Angst, Heavy Drinking, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, LGBTQ Character, Mental Health Issues, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Physical Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recovery, Sisters of Quiet Mercy, Solitary Confinement, Underage Drinking, Veronica Lodge centric, hard of hearing character, yeah sorry again, yeah. sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-20
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-08-04 16:48:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16350422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShyAudacity/pseuds/ShyAudacity
Summary: She doesn’t have much longer to let her thoughts spiral before the door to the study is opening, her parents exiting the room. Veronica feels her spine go rigid, tries to act like she hadn’t been waiting there, like she hadn’t heard all the horrible things they’d just said. She tries to suppress her state of panic.“Oh, Ronnie. Hi, sweetheart.” Hermione says, slightly surprised. “Is there something I can help you with?”Veronica looks between both of them, fumbling for something to say.“I was just, uh- I was just about to head over to Archie’s, for the New Years party I mentioned yesterday. Is it still okay that I spend the night at his house?”“Sure thing, mija,” she replies. “But have Smithers take you, I don’t want you out on these roads on a night like this. And please- no funny business, got it?”Veronica laughs mostly for appearance sake, still feeling anxious. “Mom it’s just Archie, you know we’re not dating. He’s not even into me.”I couldn’t fall in love with him even if I tried, but I can’t tell you that. I can’t tell anyone.No one else can know about this.ORVeronica struggles with her coming out, or, the lack thereof.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> LISTEN. If heavy underage drinking or homophobia upsets you in any way then I would recommend that you don't read this. There's a lot of both of those in this first part of the fic and I want you, dear reader, to take care of yourself, okay?
> 
> You dont really need to read the first part to understand what's happening, but here's a preface just in case: Betty and Veronica are together, Veronica realized she was gay after meeting her, Jughead is hard of hearing due to an accident with his Dad, and Chic is dead. I think that's it.
> 
> Beta'd by my lovely friend Erin, wingedbears, and title from Break Like A Fever by Desiree Dallagiacomo.

It’s New Year’s Eve and Veronica has decided that one of her New Year’s resolutions will be that she’s going to stop lying, or at least on such a regular basis. She’s not doing herself any favors by doing it and one of these days it’s just going to get her in trouble. On top of that, she’s also decided something else:

It’s time to tell her parents that she’s gay.

Herself and Betty have been together for nearly two months now, and it’s been hard enough to keep it a secret even this long. Veronica doesn’t want to keep this a secret anymore, she’s tired of hiding so much of herself away from the people that she cares about.

Now if only she could say the words _I’m gay_ without also feeling like she’s going to swallow her own tongue.

She’s been pacing around the living room for the last twenty minutes, trying to work up the courage to knock on the door to her father’s study and ask for a minute of her parents’ time. She tells herself that she’s being ridiculous; her parents love her, this isn’t going to change anything… _right_?

After her tenth deep breath, Veronica walks over to the door, her clammy hand outstretched. She stops short when she notices the door is ajar; she can hear her parents speaking from inside.

“The Sinclair’s caught their son kissing another boy,” Hiram says. “They cut him off the very same day. It’s a shame, really. Nick had so much going for him.”

Veronica feels her stomach bottom out, she can’t believe what she’s hearing.

“You’d think someone like him would know better,” Hermione chimes in. “I can’t believe he would choose to be like that, ruin his life in such a way. I can’t imagine how his parents must be feeling.”

“They’re trying to keep it under wraps in hopes of protecting the business. I’ll tell you one thing, if Veronica ever tried to pull a stunt like this, it’d be the last thing she’d do. We can’t have someone like that in our family, it would destroy everything we’ve worked so hard to build. One can only pray that she doesn’t make the same mistakes.”

Veronica has to cover her mouth with her hand to keep from gasping. She swears that she’s never been filled with fear so fast before in her life. This can’t be true, this can’t actually be happening right now.

_They can’t know,_ she thinks to herself _. They can never know about any of this. They’ll kill me in a second if they found out about me and Betty. Shit, Betty. What is she going to think when I tell her we have to keep this a secret?_

She doesn’t have much longer to let her thoughts spiral before the door to the study is opening, her parents exiting the room. Veronica feels her spine go rigid, tries to act like she hadn’t been waiting there, like she hadn’t heard all the horrible things they’d just said. She tries to suppress her state of panic.

“Oh, Ronnie. Hi, sweetheart.” Hermione says, slightly surprised. “Is there something I can help you with?”

Veronica looks between both of them, fumbling for something to say.

“I was just, uh- I was just about to head over to Archie’s, for the New Years party I mentioned yesterday. Is it still okay that I spend the night at his house?”

“Sure thing, mija,” she replies. “But have Smithers take you, I don’t want you out on these roads on a night like this. And please- no funny business, got it?”

Veronica laughs mostly for appearance sake, still feeling anxious. “Mom it’s just Archie, you know we’re not dating. He’s not even into me.”

_I couldn’t fall in love with him even if I tried, but I can’t tell you that. I can’t tell anyone._

_No one else can know about this._

“All the same,” Hiram says. “Make good choices; be the smart girl we know you are.”

_If I was smart I never would have gotten my hopes up over telling you about this. God, how could I have been so stupid? What the hell am I supposed to do now?_

“Sure thing, Daddy,” she says. “Whatever you want.”

 

 

 

It’s two minutes to midnight and Veronica has been nursing the same vodka soda for the last hour. She’s in the dark corner of Archie’s living room, sitting on one of the couches, watching as nearly every other teenager within ten feet of her kisses somebody else or finds someone to drag off into a more remote part of the house.

She makes a mental note to remind Archie to wash his sheets in the morning.

Veronica feels her phone begin to buzz in her hand; Betty is calling her for Facetime. She feels her heart clench, but she answers it anyway.

“Hey, V,” Betty says, the sound barely audible over the loud music playing throughout the house. “How’s the party going?”

“Uh, good- it’s good, Betty.”

“What’s going on? You look upset.”

“It’s nothing, just-.” _I can’t do it. I can’t break her heart right now, not on New Years._ “I miss you, that’s all.”

“Aw, babe, I miss you, too. I’ll be home in a couple of days, don’t worry.”

Veronica’s ears perk up to the sound of people around her counting down from ten.

“You ready?”

Veronica nods, her ability to speak having suddenly run off.

_Five. Four. Three. Two. One._

Nearly the entire house erupts into applause and cheers, it makes Veronica jump in her seat. She looks back to Betty.

Betty blows her a kiss through the phone, her eyes shining. Veronica reaches up and closes her hand in midair, holding it against her chest as if having caught her love from more than a hundred miles away. A part of her wants to cry just looking at Betty; she’s trying to think of a way that they can both get out of this unscathed.

“I gotta go, V, my mom will be wondering where I walked off to. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

Veronica nods again, and the call cuts out before she can say anything else. She doesn’t feel any different than she did two minutes ago, but then again, all she’s been feeling since this afternoon is sheer panic.

She looks down at her drink for a long moment before deciding to down it all in one go. It burns the inside of her mouth and makes her head spin, but at least she forgets that she’s hurting for a minute. Veronica has never been much of a drinker; at the occasional party, sure, maybe a little wine when her parents are out for the night, but nothing more than that. She figures now- that after today’s life-altering news- is as good a reason as any to start.

She wants to keep forgetting, wants to drink until she can’t remember why she was ever worried in the first place.

Despite still feeling foggy, Veronica pushes herself up from the couch and finds her way to the drink table, picking up the first thing that she can find. It’s clear and smells like the rum her father keeps in the bottom drawer of his desk. She mixes it with the first can of soda that she can find and it’s even worse than her last drink, but it does the job all the same.

An hour as well as a drink and a half later finds her in Archie’s bathroom, losing the contents of her stomach into the sink. She can’t decide if it was worse going down or coming back up. Veronica finds her way to his bedroom after that, shooing away the couple that had made himself cozy in his bed-

Shit, there was something she was supposed to remind him of.

She must fall asleep as soon as she hits the pillow because the next thing she knows it’s six in the morning and she has a pounding headache. The smell of something cooking coming from downstairs makes Veronica feel like she could puke all over again.

She makes her way into the kitchen, finds Archie at the stove top making pancakes, a half-empty bowl of batter next to him.

Archie looks up at her when she comes in, “Hey, couldn’t sleep?”

“Guess not,” she rasps, god her throat is wrecked. “Do you need help with clean up?”

He shakes his head, “Nah, Jug said that he’d help later. You can take what’s left over though if you want it; I’m just gonna end up dumping it out anyways.”

That was both the right and the wrong thing for Archie to say in that situation.

Veronica pads quietly into the living room, stepping around the plastic cups scattered about the floor until she finds herself in front of the drink table. Most of the bottles are bordering the halfway full line, so she picks up the first ones she can get her hands on, not bothering to look at the labels beforehand. Once she’s gotten three stuffed into her purse and another single serving bottle into her inside coat pocket, she makes a break for the door, leaving without so much as another word to Archie.

She cracks open the smallest bottle before she’s even made it to the end of Archie’s street. It’s some poor excuse for cherry flavored vodka that makes her nearly gag, but it alleviates her headache just a bit, so Veronica figures it’ll do the trick.

By the time she gets home, she’s feeling foggy enough that all she wants is to crawl back into bed and sleep for the whole day. It’s not until she walks in the front door- until she sees her parents sitting at the table eating breakfast, the poise of a perfect marriage- that she remembers why she got drunk last night in the first place. Her father’s voice echoes in her head.

_If Veronica ever tried to pull a stunt like this, it’d be the last thing she’d do._

“Morning, Veronica,” Hermione says, looking up for no more than a second. “How was the party?”

Two of the bottles clink together in her purse as she crosses her arms; Veronica prays that her parents hadn’t heard anything.

“It was fine, Mom. I’m gonna go back to bed.”

As soon as the door shuts, Veronica starts peeling herself out of the navy colored dress she’d been wearing, letting it fall to the floor; her mother can berate her for letting it get wrinkled later. Veronica changes into her favorite t-shirt and shorts before climbing into bed, pulling all of the covers over her head.

She does, by all means, try to sleep- but it just won’t come to her. There’s a dull ache spreading across her body, starting from somewhere in her chest; it’s keeping her up, won’t stop reminding her of everything she heard yesterday. All the horrible things she was so hoping to forget.

Veronica looks up at the ceiling, running her hands through her hair and wondering to herself: _How the hell am I supposed to fix this?_

 

 

 

The drinking doesn’t just end with New Year’s. Every time she hears her father on the phone with one of his business colleagues, or whenever she watches her mother turn her nose up at something on the news, Veronica finds herself going back to the conversation she heard that day- the one that she wants so badly to go back in time and stop herself from eavesdropping on.

Her stash that she’d acquired from Archie doesn’t last as long as she thought it would. Hell, it doesn’t even make it to the middle of January- never mind the fact that it wasn’t very big to begin with. Only three days after finishing it off, Veronica finds herself craving it; her body is itching for the taste of alcohol again.

She’d agreed to meet Betty at Pop’s after school- an impromptu study date- but she makes a little detour first. Veronica walks right up to Reggie Mantle’s souped-up car in the parking lot, arms crossed over her chest, the cold wind stinging her tight covered calves.

Reggie is in the front seat, looks up from his from phone, surprised to see Veronica of all people standing there. He rolls the windows down just enough to hear her talk.

“I’m looking to get some stuff,” she says, voice mechanical.

“Stuff?”

“Liquor. Hard stuff. Whatever you wanna call it- do you have anything?”

Reggie looks at her carefully, then looks around the parking lot before nodding, getting out of the car. She’d really been expecting him to shut her down- one last _fuck you_ for dumping him for Betty. Veronica doesn’t know whether or not she should be relieved that he doesn’t ask what she needs it for, but grateful kind of feels like the way to go.

He goes to his trunk, pulls at a divot on the floor until it pops free, revealing a wide array of contraband stuffed into the corner.

The bottles in the back practically gleam at her.    

“Take your pick.” He says, stuffing his hands into his letterman jacket.

She glances at him carefully, before reaching in and grabbing the first thing that she can get her hands on, then another. The third one catches her attention before she can stuff it into her backpack, its bright orange bottle is an eyesore.

“Pumpkin spice rum?”

“That’s left over from Halloween,” he says. “Cheryl didn’t appreciate that as much as I thought she would.”

Veronica stares at it for another second longer before stuffing it in her bag along with the other two. She doesn’t know whether to thank him or not so she just leaves, spends an hour at Pop’s with Betty while the rum and vodka are burning a hole in her bag.

“Are you okay, V?” Betty asks at one point. “You seem distracted.”

“Yeah,” she lies. “Just a little tired, that’s all.”

_If only that was it. I wish I could tell you everything… I wish there was a way out of this mess without hurting you in the process._

“You would tell me, right? If something was going on- no more secrets?”

“Of course, B. No more secrets, I swear.”

So much for not lying anymore.

Veronica goes home that night and kills third a bottle of vodka on an empty stomach while alone in her room and wakes up the next morning with a hangover that would give even the best of drunks a run for their money. When Hermione finds her puking her guts out at some spiteful hour of the night, Veronica claims to have eaten something that didn’t agree with her then stays home from school.

She wonders home many more times she can use that lie before her mother starts to realize that something is going on with her.

The rest of the bottle is gone by the end of the next week.

 

 

 

Next time she needs stuff, Reggie offers her pot, something a little less detrimental to herself, but she refuses it.

“I get that you’re trying to feel good or something,” he remarks. “But is it really worth killing your liver before you’re twenty?”

Veronica practically glares daggers at him. “If I wanted to touch the clouds, I’d go for a hot air balloon ride, not smoke some shitty strain that’s only going to give me the munchies and wear off within the hour.”

She wants something that she can feel the next morning, something other than regret, or hate, for that matter.

This goes on for weeks. Veronica makes some pathetic excuse as to why she can’t spend Valentine’s Day with Betty- god forbid that her parents get suspicious- then cries into her hands before she’s even finished her first drink. She feels both pathetic and angry at the same time, wanting so badly for things to be different.

 

 

 

Three days into March, Veronica gets wicked drunk at Archie’s birthday party and wakes up the next morning on his bathroom floor, shaking like it’s all she can manage.

Archie stands in the doorway to the bathroom, arms crossed like a disappointed father.

“Betty called me a few minutes ago,” he says. “Wanted me to make sure you got home okay since she never heard back from you last night. I don’t blame her being worried about you, seeing as I can’t remember the last time that you weren’t nursing a hangover.”

He knows, _of course,_  Archie knows. He’s always been naïve but he’s not stupid. Veronica doesn’t bother to respond, it's not going to fix anything.

_I could have fallen in love with you, if I was better. If only I’d been different._

“You can’t keep doing this to yourself, Ronnie. Whatever is going on- hurting yourself isn’t going to help.”

She just ignores him until he finally leaves and then cries. She’s been doing that a lot lately, but given the circumstances, she can’t think of much else to do.

  


She knows that Betty is slipping away from her, she does. And it hurts, _god_ does it hurt. But Veronica can’t do anything about that. Her parents would kill her if they so much as thought she was gay. One wrong move and her whole life would implode. Everything she knows, everything she cares about would be gone in a second.

She’s in the Blue & Gold’s office during her free period, but not actually doing homework. It’s one of the few mornings in the last week that she hasn’t woken up nauseous or hurting on some part of her body.

Kevin comes in, dropping his books onto the desk without an ounce of grace.

“Is there a good reason why Betty just asked me if you’re _cheating on her_?”

“Kev-.”

“Honestly, I don’t blame her seeing as you’ve nearly gone AWOL on all of us again. You’re always holed up in your room or ignoring us when we try to get you to come hang out with us. Is there something you’re not telling me-.”

“Kevin, just drop it- it’s none of your business,” she all but barks, shutting him up in a second.

Kevin scoffs, shaking his head. “If this is what I get for trying, then forget it, I’m done.”

Just like that, he’s gone just as quickly as he came, and Veronica rubs her hand over her temple, feeling a headache coming on.

_I’m so tired of hurting the people I love, I wish this could just be over already._

 

 

 

Her first fight with Betty since getting together is exactly as horrible as she had imagined it would be.

They’re in the Blue & Gold’s office over lunch, away from the leering crowd of other students. The anniversary of Chic’s passing had been a few days before and Veronica hadn’t done squat about it- she was too tweaked out to even try and remember what day it was. She tries to make up for it, saying that they can do something this weekend if she still wants to- but Betty’s not having any of it.

“What the hell is going on with you?”

“Betty-.”

“No, V, I mean it. What the hell is your problem? Why do you keep pushing me away? I thought we agreed to tell each other things, no more secrets.”

_I can’t tell you… I can’t tell anyone._

Veronica spits out the first thing she can think before even considering the results, doesn’t even look Betty in the eye.

“We need to stop.”

Betty gapes, her resolve falters, “Wh- what?”

“We need to stop. We can’t go out anymore.”

“Veronica-.”

“I mean c’mon it’s not like you love me or anything, right?”

It’s dirty handed and she hates it, but how else is she supposed to keep Betty from getting caught up in the backlash of all of this. She doesn’t have to look up to know that Betty is crying, Veronica is surprised that she hasn’t yet started herself.

“I thought I did,” Betty mutters. “I really thought I did.”  

It’s another ten seconds of silence before Betty is leaving her all alone, and Veronica feels the panic build in her body almost immediately.

_Oh god. What have I done?_

As much as she wants to, Veronica doesn’t go after her- she already knows that Betty is never going to forgive her for this, no matter what she does.

 

 

 

In the middle of April, six days after her break up with Betty, two weeks before her seventeenth birthday, her mom wakes her up at five in the morning, it’s barely even light out.

“Get dressed then meet me at the car,” she says flatly. “We’re going for a drive.”

Veronica finds it odd that her mom is driving them to wherever they're going, she hasn’t seen her behind the wheel of a car in years. She doesn’t ask where they’re going, but does get more and more anxious the further out of town they go. She sticks to rubbing her knuckles, a nervous tick; her stash ran out two days ago and Reggie didn’t have anything on him when she asked after school yesterday, she was starting to get restless.

She feels sick to her stomach when they pull up to what looks like both a church and clinic combined- and not in a hungover way that she’s become so used to. Veronica is about to ask when Hermione says: “I know that you’ve been drinking.”

“Mom-.”

“And about the girl you’re seeing.”

Her blood runs cold in a second, panic filling her in a way that it hasn’t since New Year’s. Hermione turns to her, face set like a stone.

“Get out of the car.”

“Mom, please, just-.”

“This isn’t up for discussion, Veronica. Get out of the damn car.”

She doesn’t have another chance to speak up before two men in white scrubs are approaching the car. Veronica starts to scream as soon as they put their hands on her, begging her mom to just _listen for one minute please, Mom, I’m sorry_ , but it’s no use. She’s already past the gate, being led to her doom, lead inside a little place called the Sisters of Quiet Mercy.  


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dont know what to say about this chapter so just read it I guess???

Her roommate is named Ava- she looks frail as a bird and has half her head shaved, the rest is blonde waves that make her heart ache missing Betty; Veronica wonders privately if that was her own choice, wonders if someone held Ava down with a pair of sheers and razors and made her this way.

There’s just enough space between the two small beds to fit a desk and nothing else, no wardrobe or anything. In the mornings after their scheduled, ten-minute showers they’re given fresh clothes- a god awful baby blue dress that stops at her knees and a red cardigan that does nothing to keep her from being cold.  

On her second night, she finally works up enough courage to ask Ava what she did to deserve getting put here, it’s the only thing she’s said to Ava since she’s arrived.

“Same as you,” Ava says, tone quiet. “Same as everyone else. Because I dared to love someone who looked like me.”

  


 

Veronica learns very quickly how things work around here.

Listen to the rules.

Do your school work.

Don’t touch _anyone_.

If you step out of line there’s punishment. The first time she gets a ruler to her hands she cries afterward. By the fourth time, she doesn’t so much as flinch. After that, they start putting her in solitary and it’s horrible, each session an hour longer than the last. The four by six-foot room made of solid cement is so cold that it makes her teeth hurt.

She finds it impossible to eat, all of the food looks like it’s rotting on the plate, she always feels sick to her stomach- reminds her of so many mornings spent in front of the toilet, the shower running next to her so as to drown out the sound. Veronica pushes her food away most mornings, rolling her eyes when one of the sisters threaten to force feed her.

She finds herself thinking, _Iron Jawed Angels doesn’t seem so ridiculous anymore, huh, Dad._

She spends a lot- almost too much- of her time thinking about her parents, wondering if maybe there’s a way she could redeem herself. Then, every time without fail, Veronica remembers that her parents were the ones who put her here and she gets angry. She’s _their daughter_ for crying out loud, how could they just turn their backs on her?

This cycle repeats so often that’s it’s hard to tell when it stops and starts.

“What do you hope to gain from this, Miss Veronica?” Sister Woodhouse asks her one morning in their one on one “therapy” session; it’s worse than group therapy, at least in group there’s someone else around, a barrier of sorts to protect her.

Veronica looks up at her from where she’s slouched in her chair, blank look on her face.

“Gain?” she remarks spitefully. “What could anyone possibly get out of this that’s helpful?

“We bring young people like you back to a place of peace.”

“You hurt people, you mean.”

“I _fix_ them,” Sister Woodhouse says, sure as a stone. “Something that you would very well benefit from, my child… now sit up straight before I put you in solitary without dinner.”

 _It certainly wouldn’t be the worst thing that’s happened to me in this place,_ she thinks to herself, but follows the order anyways. She’d rather not be alone with herself right now, or ever for that matter. Veronica worries that the longer she’s in here the more she risks losing she’s losing her sense of reality- or worse, her sense of self.

She sees the way other teenagers walk around in this place- the blank looks on their faces, like they’re not even there anymore, complete and total zombies.

_Please, god. Please don’t let me die in this place. All I want is to leave someday._

 

 

 

“They want to make us compliant,” Ava tells her one night, ten minutes after lights out has been called.

Veronica just spent the last nine hours in solitary and her whole body feels like jelly, but she listens anyway, it’s not like there’s much else to do.

“That’s all they want,” she continues. “They want to make us like them. You’re better than this, Ronnie, you don’t have to be like them. You can beat this.”

She has half a mind to tell her not to call her that- that nickname is reserved for her friends, and her mother, once upon a time- but she can’t get her brain to work no matter how hard she tries.

She just stares at the wall until she falls asleep, wondering if her friends are worried about her, if she’s going to have any friends to come home to someday if she’s lucky.

Time goes by so slow in this place, the days drag by like an unending winter with how cold they keep this place. They stop giving her homework, so Veronica assumes it must be summer already, she doesn’t even want to think about how much time she’s lost in here.

She aches for her friends, for _Betty_ , for someone who loves her, for a touch that won’t make her want to rip her skin away from itself.

One night, a week after Ava left during breakfast and then didn’t return, Veronica is lying on her bed, curled into herself trying to ignore the way she aches with hunger and fatigue when she hears a noise from outside.

 _Fireworks_ , her brain supplies, _it must be fourth of July_. And out of nowhere she is crying, mourning over all the time she’s missed out on with her friends. In a moment’s decision, she does the only thing she can think of: _scream_.

She yells into the thick walls in front her until her vocal cords burn. That night she dreams of the most magical colors she’s ever seen, dreams of a place far, far away from here.

 

 

 

Two mornings later there’s a police raid- someone finally bucked up and reported all of the abuse coming out of this place- and Veronica doesn’t even react when the door to her room swings open, the shadow of a man standing in the doorway. It’s not until a gruff voice speaks, a calloused hand gripping her shoulder that she finds the strength to hold her head up.

It’s Sheriff Keller, looking down at her like he can’t believe what he’s seeing.

He mutters, “Well I’ll be damned.”

The next thing she knows she’s being lead outside by Sheriff Keller, his arm around her waist practically holding her up. It’s so bright that it makes her eyes hurt, she can’t even remember the last time she was outside- the sisters didn’t like to give them yard time, thought that someone would try to make a run for it.

Sheriff Keller practically forces a water bottle into her hand, looks concerned when she has trouble opening it herself.

“How long have you been here, Veronica?”

“Long enough,” she whispers back, unsure as to whether or not this is really happening.

Some odd amount of time later, she’s sitting in the backseat of the Sheriff’s squad car, his jacket draped over her with the door open when she hears someone yelling for her, screaming her name. Veronica looks up and there’s Betty, _her_ Betty, standing with Kevin and talking to the sheriff, looking panicked as all hell.

He must have called them; she’ll have to thank him for it someday.

By some shred of grace, Veronica pulls herself out of the car and onto wobbly feet, moving towards them on slow legs. Betty and Kevin run over as soon as they spot her; Betty throws her arms around her immediately. It’s a good thing she does too because Veronica isn’t sure she’d be able to hold herself up much longer. Kevin is there too, wrapping his arms around both of them, acting as a shield, sheltering them from nosy onlookers.

“I was so worried,” Betty says into her hair, sounding like she could cry. “I was so worried, Veronica, _oh my god_. I knew you wouldn’t just leave like that, I knew it.”

This is the most that she’s been touched in months and it’s dizzying- Veronica prays that this isn’t some sort of twisted, fever dream she’s having.

“Home,” she says shakily into Betty’s neck. “I want to be home.”

“Okay,” Betty responds, one of her hands cradling the back of Veronica’s head. “Okay, we’ll figure something out, we’re going to be out of here soon, I promise, V.”

The old nickname makes her heart sing- it’s the closest thing Veronica has felt to joy in only god knows how long. She has her face hidden in Betty’s collarbone, still shaking against her when she hears Kevin above them, speaking into his phone, saying: “Archie? Arch, you’re not gonna believe this, we found her. _We found Ronnie_.”  

Those are, hands down, the best combination of words she’s ever heard.

 

 

 

She’s not sure who’s more relieved to see her alive, Betty or Archie. He all but bursts out of his front door when they pull up, arms snug around her waist and feet off the ground as soon as she steps foot into the yard.

“I missed you,” he says, crying in her ear. “I missed you so much, Ronnie.”

And Veronica, god help her, _breaks_. She spends ten minutes in Archie's front yard just crying. Loud, obnoxious sobs, leaving her mouth and showing no signs of stopping, no matter how much her friends assure her _you’re okay_.

Thirty minutes later she’s sitting on Archie's couch, surrounded by her friends, Fred, and Sheriff Keller, a bowl of chicken noodle soup in front of her and a blanket over her shoulders.

“I sent a deputy to The Pembrooke,” Sheriff Keller tells her. “But your parents weren’t there, everything was gone.”

She rasps, says, “I don’t have a clue where they are. Somewhere far away from here, at best guess.”

No one knows what to say to that, so no one says anything.

It’s decided almost immediately that she’s going to move in with the Keller’s, seeing as an arrest warrant has already been sent out for both of her parents. She wants to be grateful, but she’s still so, so cold.

Veronica spends the night at the Andrews’ that first night, all of her friends, even Jughead, curled together in the living room, taking turns trying to keep her warm. She doesn’t even realize that’s she fallen asleep until it’s two in the morning and she’s gasping awake, startled back to consciousness by the sight of sister Mary Claire and two orderlies coming towards her, a ruler- or maybe that’s a whip- in her hand.

She scrambles to her feet, barely making it to the bathroom before she loses her lunch, what small one she had. Veronica has a flashing, horrible memory of the last time that she did this- two days before she went away, two days before she had her soul stripped from her completely.

She flinches when someone touches her back, curls into her knees as soon as it’s over, tries to focus on Betty’s voice in her ear, desperately trying to calm her down. Veronica can hear her speaking to someone above her over the sound of her own hiccupping breaths.

“I can feel her ribs, Arch.”

For a second, Veronica has herself convinced that she’s never going to get over this- that she’s going to be skittish and withdrawn forever.

Once she’s slightly more relaxed and feeling strong enough to stand, they lead her back out to the living room. Jughead offers her the couch, and she would hug him if she wasn’t absolutely sure that both of them would hate it. Veronica curls up on the couch as soon as she gets there, her hand draped over the side and tangled in with Betty’s, trying to give herself a semblance of being close with her.

Right before she falls asleep again, Veronica thinks to herself, _I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t come for me._

  


 

In the first week after getting back, Veronica spends more time asleep than she does awake- never mind the fact that it’s not a restful sleep. It scares the hell out of her friends- she can see it on their faces, the way their brows never seem to lose their concerned furrow.

Archie pushes a plate of food in front of her every time she’s awake, even if for only an hour. He makes it while she’s watching, sits with her at the table and rubs a hand down her back coaxing her _please Ronnie just a few bites. I know it’s hard but you’ll feel better I promise._

She manages to eat half a bowl of chicken noodle soup before she feels like she’s going to lose her lunch, then pushes it away. Archie, god bless him, covers it in plastic and puts it in the refrigerator, saying she can eat it later. The sheer amount of faith that he has in her makes Veronica’s head spin most days.

“What makes you so sure that I’m going to get better?” she asks him one afternoon, an uneaten grilled cheese sitting in front of her.

Archie faces her from across the counter, hands flat on the wood.

“Because, you’re the same Veronica that once punched me in the face for implying that you couldn’t,” he says, sure as can be. “Someone that tough- that _defiant_ \- a girl like that wouldn’t give up on herself… certainly not you. That’s not who you are.”  

She’s not entirely sure that she believes him, but she wants to. Maybe someday she will- hopefully sooner than later.

 

 

 

Three days after she’s officially moved into the Keller’s guest room, Tom knocks on the door frame, then comes in and tells her that both of her parents were just arrested for child neglect and abandonment.

It’s news to her, but not necessarily surprising.

When he asks if she wants to see them, Veronica shakes her head.

“I think they’ve made it pretty clear what they think of me now,” she spits out. “Don’t bother calling them. You’re not going to get an answer.”

Tom, god bless him, doesn’t bring it up again after that.

  


A week before their senior year is supposed to start, Veronica is over at the Andrews’ again, sitting with Jughead while he does last-minute touches on a summer assignment. She keeps looking at the hearing aid hooked over his ears- the ones she got him for Christmas- thinking about how last year he was in a similar position with his own family.

“How do you deal with it?” she asks before she can stop herself.

Jughead looks up at her, confused.

“How do you get over being hurt by someone who was supposed to love you?”

His spine straightens, shoulders stiffen, then he shrugs, giving her a flat look.

“I don’t know…” he tells her, honestly. “I haven’t really figured that out yet.”

It’s not what Veronica wanted to hear- not by a long shot, but it’s the best that she has to work with for now. It gives her the smallest scrap of peace.

  


 

It’s hard, coming back to reality, back to the real world, but she does it, slowly and over time.

Betty comes over practically every day, and living with Kevin is like having a constant sleepover with your best friend. It takes her weeks to feel like herself again, even more weeks to be able to eat properly or spend more than ten minutes in the shower without panicking.

It’s early October when she runs into Ava again, the first cold day of the year. Veronica and Betty are in the only Target in a twenty-mile radius when she hears her name down the aisle.

“Ronnie?”

Veronica almost doesn’t recognize Ava at first. She’s filled out, looks less sickly, and her hair has been chopped into a short pixie cut.

“Oh, _my god_.”

Both of them cry when they hug; Ava explains how she got out, tells her that she turned eighteen and checked herself out as soon as she realized it was an option. Veronica tells her about the raid and introduces her to Betty, her past and her future coming together for one fleeting moment.

Ava presses her phone number into Veronica’s hand before she leaves, promising to see her again soon.

It’s a relief to see that someone else was able to make it out of _that place_ alive.

She spends that night at Betty’s, curled around her in bed; it took weeks for her to able to do this without panicking, worried that someone would come and try to snatch her up and take her away again.

“I love you,” she whispers into the dark space. It might just be the most honest thing she’s ever said.

Betty looks at her, eyes wide and in love, repeats it then says, “You don’t know how glad I am that you came back to me.”

They kiss and it feels like being reunited all over again, but twice as good.

That night, Veronica falls asleep without nightmares for once, so, so grateful for everything. That this blonde girl showed up and changed her whole life.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might add another chapter if any more ideas come to me, but for now that's it! If you have anything else you'd like to see out of this series (Jughead's backstory, Kevin and moose's relationship, etc.) let me know! I'm always open to ideas! Thanks again for reading, have a great day!

**Author's Note:**

> The next part isn't as sad I swear. Also, please tell me if you think the rating should go up, I wasn't totally sure what to mark it as.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Comments/Kudos are appreciated and encouraged. You can find me on tumblr as archieandrewsprotectionsquad. Thanks again for reading, have a great day!


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